Thursday, July 17, 2008


That state into which all beings are born

A birthright that only the holder can relinquish or reclaim

More than conceptual it is in fact the basis of the spiritual

Wars cannot create nor destroy it

A force of nature more powerful than any other of God's creations

It carries with it great responsibility

And like the creator it has many names

Freedom, liberty, independence, choice, will, sovereignty

The poets and bards have sung of it

The people of the world yearn for it

Respecting it in others enhances our own

And one day when we all understand that we hold it in our very hands

We will find the most elusive and apparent road to ascension

Remeber that you are FREE and you will be truely ALIVE and HAPPY

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Glory And Shame Part 1

I am Wei Yun. I have seen only 18 years of life and now I will never see another dawn. This is the story of my glory and my shame.

I can hardly draw on the memory of my former life. My family worked the fields gathering rice and soy. It was a hard but simple life. The town elders paid tribute to the lord of the land and, in turn, he protected us from bandits and invaders.

It was a very harsh winter. The harvest had been poor that year. I remember the smell of ash in chill air that day. Invaders from the south had besieged our Lord’s lands for several months. His army had already forced the conscription most of the men in our village.

I can still hear the thunderous sound of the horses as they charged into our village. The men clad in black armor, burning homes, destroying all in their path. I heard screams of terror, which haunt my dreams to this day. I felt a thud and then, blackness.

I awoke in the back of cart full of women, some I recognized, and others I did not. Most of us were scared into silence. Those few whispers that dared escape were of a terrible warlord who had swept the province. Nothing stood in his way.

We neared what I recognized as our lord’s keep. The walls were scorched in places, destroyed in others. The gates of this once mighty keep were broken and cast aside. We passed what had been the market place, now a place of public execution. The stench of blood and burnt flesh overcame me. I wretched, heaved, and plunged mercifully into darkness.

A splash of freezing water, rough and probing hands awoke me next. I and three other girls were being pulled from the cell and lined up. We were ushered through the keep. Even in it’s current state, one could not help but marvel at the incredible beauty and wealth of this place. Rich furnishings and treasures of all kinds adorned its halls.

We were brought to an opulent room. Furniture of dark wood and jade, golden censures, beautiful tapestry and rugs accented the room. The smell of sandalwood and sage filled the air. The guards stood at the door like stone pillars never moving. Had I not been overcome with fear, I would have marveled at the splendor of that which surrounded me.

A short time later, an elegantly dressed woman entered through a curtain from an adjacent room, and dismissed the guards. She circled us slowly. She was magnificent. She was not tall, but she commanded attention. Her eyes were the color of dark emeralds. Her hair was a flawless, black, deep as the night sky. Her skin had the look of fresh cream. She wore a silk robe of deep crimson; the dragon and the tiger in golden thread adorned the hem and cuffs of the sleeves.

She introduced herself simply as Madam. Her first words to us were simple. “You have been selected”, she began. “Master Yao has shown you great favor. Please him, and you will know joy unimagined. Fail to do so… even the most wretched creature on earth would not want your fate.”

She clapped her hands twice. From the other room appeared six figures dressed in white silk robes. Nothing of their faces or any part of them was visible through the cloth. They entered almost soundlessly. Two of them stood beside each of us. She nodded and two of the ghostly figures began to lead the first of us to the center of the room.

They began to undress the girl. She resisted, crying out. Madam stoically walked to her and slapped her hard across the face. “Be still” came the command. The she again struggled. This time when Madam struck her, it was across the back of her legs with a small bamboo rod that disappeared as quickly as it appeared. The girl whimpered but did not again protest.

Madam circled the young woman, as if she were inspecting a prize horse or a statue up for sale. She began inspecting the girl’s hair, and teeth, hands and feet. Then she made a motion and the two wraiths escorted the girl to the next room. I was next in line. I did not want to rouse Madam’s anger so I stood silently, eyes cast down, as she began. A warm flush came over me when Madam’s hand brushed against my shoulders and the small of my back. A noticeable chill overcame me giving me gooseflesh. I noticed the hint of a smile cross Madam’s lips as her eyes lingered on my erect nipples and chilled skin. She motioned and I too was led away to the next room.

This room was as elegant as the last but more sparsely furnished. There were four tables of jade and dark wood, one on each wall. Mirrors burnished in gold and jade above each table. The scents of sandalwood and sage played making my head light. Here the floors were bare teak and a large wooden tub of steaming water occupied the center of the room. To one side of the room, two more of the white clad figures stood by a large pot of boiling water, ladles of which they periodically added to the tub, and on the other, a small wooden stall where I was led.

The first girl was being helped into the tub when I entered. She winced slightly as she was lowered into the water. I watched intrigued by the scene as our spectral escorts began to bathe the girl. The heat and humidity of the room formed drops of sweat on her pale skin that glistened like beads of glass. Our attendants, roughly at times, scrubbed her skin as if to remove all traces of the outside world.

My attendants soon had my full attention again. The stall where I was lead consisted of three walls of dark wood with a drainage grate in the floor. On the walls hung two vessels of alabaster. The vessels had long hoses with nozzles of silver shaped like the heads of fish.

One of my attendants held me still, the other removed a small clip from the first of the hoses and warm water began to flow from the spout. The attendant holding me guided me to bend over. Soon I felt the warm water running down my legs. I cried out in shock however, as the nozzle was slowly pushed into my anus. The sting of Madam’s rod across my ankle became an instant reminder that no protest, however small, would be allowed. One of the specters whispered in an almost childlike voice, “Hold, do not let go”. I could feel the warmth of the water filling me, and my knees getting weak, as I struggled not to let go. Then as my attendant removed the nozzle, I released, and nearly collapsed from the sensation.

My attendant steadied me then unclipped the second hose. The scent of herbs in warm water filled the stall. I could feel the lips of my womanhood swell as the warm water and the hands of my attendant began cleansing me. This time a small moan escaped in my breath as the nozzle was slowly pushed inside of me. To my surprise Madam’s hand reached out and softly caressed my face. A small shudder overtook me as the attendant removed the second nozzle. A flush of water and my own juices ran down my legs and I began to tremble. The attendants rinsed me off. I lowered my head and sobbed, scared and ashamed as they lead me to the tub.

After our attendants had finished bathing us we were dried. My skin, nearly raw from the scrubbing, welcomed the softness of the cloths. Two more of the white clad phantoms entered, one with containers of fragrant oils and lotions, the other carried a tray with various combs of bone, brushes, and other items unfamiliar to me.

Madam addressed us in an arrogant tone “Your lives, as they were, are over.” The words hung in the air with finality. “Forget all that you were, and have known. Beginning today you will learn many new things. Be mindful of your lessons. My patience, you will find, is fleeting at best.” With that we were again lined up and inspected. This time special attention was paid to our hands, hair, and feet. Madam looked aghast at our calloused hands and feet. She examined our hair. “Well, at least we can forego wigs”, she said mockingly. For the first time in my memory, I felt self-conscious, even inferior, where I had never given such things any thought.

After her inspection, our attendants led each of us, to one of the jade tables. We stood in front of the mirrors waiting to see what might transpire. I remember seeing my refection in the mirror for the first time. I had seen myself in the stream near our village but this was different somehow. I remember looking at my naked body and my face like that of a stranger. I think I was a stranger, to myself, and to the world around me.

My attendants carried out the task of grooming me in a meticulous manner. First, a small gray stone was removed from the tray. Running the stone across my hands and feet, they began scraping away the calluses that marked years of hard labor. I almost laughed aloud; the sensation tickled so. I stopped short however, as one girls giggle turned into a sob as madam’s rod struck her across the ankles. “Silence” came the command, short and final. I closed my eyes and struggled against my fear, to control my urge to cry.

Next, they began cutting my hair, adding to it a light, pleasant smelling oil as they combed it. A light lotion was applied to my face, and then a rich lotion, scented of almond and honey, was massaged into my skin. The attendant’s hands were strong and supple. I had never known the touch of a man other than that of my father, and never in this fashion. Strange stirrings filled me as these hands passed over my skin. They never lingered long in one place as if to avoid over stimulation. Nonetheless, I could feel the moisture building between my legs, and my skin flushing red as those hands traversed my entire body.

I became aware of how hungry I was when a grumble emitted from low in my belly. The sound carried and caused Madam to laugh aloud. “I see we have taken care of the outside and neglected the inside. Have no fear my little sparrows you shall soon feast such as never before. We have just a little more preparation. Madam made a gesture and we were promptly brought white robes of silk. The silk was soft and pleasing to the touch. The feel of the fabric was a stark contrast to the circumstances that brought me to wear it. But there would be no time for reflection, yet.

After we were robed, we were brought small stools and instructed to sit quietly. Long thin brushes were removed from the trays. The tips of these brushes were dipped into small jars of pigment. Then the pigment was applied to our lips and around the eyes.

Never in my life had I, or anyone else, paid so much attention to my appearance. When they were done, I looked again in the mirror. The face staring at me belonged to another. Something indeed had changed; at that moment, I knew that Madam’s words were true; our old lives were over.

Madam approached and stood behind me. “Beautiful” she whispered. Were it not for the fact that her eyes did not leave my reflection, I would have though those words for another. A flush of red went through my skin. Pressure rose in my ears all but deafening me. I wanted to hide; with out refuge my eyes had no choice but, to meet hers. Her face was enigma; it betrayed no secret, offered no answers.

Madam’s voice once again rose to command us. “Now we are ready. You will be brought before the master shortly. Mind you, stand straight and do not speak unless you are addressed. You will bow to the master as you enter. Pray that you find his favor.” With that she clapped her hands twice and our attendants lined us up single file. I was in front of the group wishing it were otherwise.

Once again we were led through the keep. As we were ushered along, the aroma of cooked meats and spices rose up in my nostrils, again reminding me of my hunger. We reached an ornately carved archway where we stopped. Madam paused and entered, bowing low. “Master Yao, for your pleasure three young women, from the province, have been selected for training as concubines. If it pleases you, I shall bring them forward for your approval.” The voice that answered had the quality of an older man; it was reminiscent of some of the elders of our village. “Bring them in one at a time so that we may look on them.”

My attendant led me into the hall. As I passed the archway, I bowed low, then stood eyes cast down to the floor. “I would see her face.” Came the voice of a younger man. I could not see who had spoken clearly. The voice had come from behind a beautiful standing screen made of the same dark wood as the other furnishings of the keep. I saw, through the slatted paper, three men, all seated.

The man in the center sat higher than the others. I assumed this was Master Yao. He was dressed in fine armor, resplendent with gold and precious stones. He also wore a golden mask, contorted in an ugly scowl and fearsome to look upon. But, what struck me most and held me were his eyes; they were fierce yet compassionate. Like two black pearls they pierced my soul, my very heart.

“What is your name girl?” asked Yao. “I am called Wei my lord”, I stammered. I could feel my skin flush as I stood transfixed by his perfect eyes. The older man spoke again, “You may be seated.” I bowed and then was lead by my attendant to a mat near the table. I sat down and watched as each girl was brought in.

It was here that I finally learned the names of the other girls. Tui was the next girl to be presented. She was the youngest of us; I would guess fourteen seasons, no more. Her eyes remained downcast through out dinner. Next came the girl who had been disciplined by Madam, Ye. She no longer wore a sullen face in fact, she seemed devoid of all emotion. Finally, Minh was led in. She was taller than the rest of us with a very slender feminine frame.

We sat on floor mats of woven reeds. In front of us was arrayed a feast the likes of which, I am sure, none of us had ever seen before. Not only was the food abundant and wonderfully fragrant but, many of the platters had been carved and arranged like works of art. As hungry as we were, none of us dared move to eat until the lord spoke.

“Eat and drink slowly my treasures; savor the meal and know what it is like to cull my favor.” He spoke. “Madam will continue your training tomorrow. Do as she bids and no harm shall befall you, but do not fail her.” His words hung in the air with finality. “ Now, feel free to converse and enjoy our entertainment.” With that and two claps of his hands music began to play from behind a solid screen partition in one corner of the room and for the first time Master Yao removed his mask.

I guessed his age to be thirty or thirty-five. He was not a handsome man, but again and again through out the evening I found myself lost in those dark powerful eyes.

The meal was as delicious as it was beautiful. Despite my hunger, I did manage to eat the food and drink the wine slowly. I had never experienced anything like it. And as the wine and the music’s effect on us took hold, we all sat less rigidly and even Ye began to seem more at ease.
Master Yao made a gesture and Madam moved toward him. He rose and the two older gentlemen seated at his side stood and left the room. Two of the attendants in the room came to Yao and began to remove his garments while two others brought out pillows of fine silk. He stood before us completely nude. Under most circumstances I would have immediately turned away, but I sat transfixed by the scene unfolding before me.

I was somewhat surprised that he was not taller. He could not have been more than nine hands or so tall. He was a stocky man and muscular. His torso and arms were battle marked and scarred, as were his legs. I felt the odd flush return to my skin as I gazed on his manhood. He was fully erect and his member seemed to pulse like the beating of my heart, now again ringing in my ears.

I then noticed that Madam stood behind him. She had shed her robe; I gasped at her beauty. Her skin was as flawless as the most perfect pearl. Her slim neck tapered down to smooth shoulders and feminine yet strong looking arms. Her breasts were small yet round and pert, with nipples that were the size of silver coins, crimson and erect. She had a slender waist that flowed into her hips like calm tides rolling onto the shore. Her legs perfectly shaped and between them a small mound of black hair that looked like spun silk.

Madam touched Masters Yao’s shoulders causing his skin to turn to goose flesh. Lightly she bade him lay face first as she continued his massage. She straddled his back and now ministered to him with her whole body. She used her elbows as if plowing furrows in a field as he moaned in approval. She slid her smooth skin over every part of him, her hands caressing him and breaking down every visible tension. My own nipples became erect against the silk robe; I felt flushed as if stricken by fever and a moistness and heat between my own legs that threatened to overtake me.

Slowly Yao began to roll over until he was on top of Madam. He grabbed her hair with one hand while the other probed her silky mound. The heady scent of musk began to fill the room as Madam quivered and moaned in pleasure at the Masters touch. He kissed her powerfully on the mouth and began licking and nibbling on her neck and breasts down her belly. He greedily consumed the musky flesh between Madam’s legs. She arched her back moaning unintelligible words as he retraced his earlier path back to he waiting mouth. He pulled her close entering her, and what sounded like a purr escaped her lips. Yao was now like a man possessed thrusting into her furiously, and Madam met his every thrust as fiercely in return. In time, almost in unison, a moan escaped the pair, and Yao collapsed into Madam’s arms as they kissed passionately.
None of us moved or spoke; we were like our phantom attendants, stunned at what we had witnessed. Finally, the Master rose. Two of the attendants brought him a robe of deep crimson. He merely looked at us and smiled. But, then I was shocked to note that he held my glance as he spoke. “In time all of you will learn to attend me and one another in this fashion, for now I leave you to Madam’s care. Goodnight.” With that he strode confidently out of the room.

Madam was now dressing; her skin seemed to glow. When she finished she turned to us and spoke a hint of sadness I had not heard before in her voice. “Tomorrow we begin your training. As you lay in your beds tonight think on what you have seen and heard.” With that she had us rise. Our attendants came forward and we were led out of the dinning chamber.

The night air was very cool and there was the small of rain on the wind. The cool air on my body only heightened my aroused state. We were led to another section of the keep where there were four wardrobes, along with sleeping mats, amongst the other lavish furnishings. “This will be your sleeping quarters. Your attendants will provide you with what you require.” She motioned to one of the attendants and spoke “Light the braziers so that our little sparrows do not freeze to death.” She laughed lightly and then strode from the room. “Sleep well my pets tomorrow we is a new day.”

As I lay on my mat I noted how comfortable and warm the room was. I though back on our dinner and on the incredible sight of the Master and Madam’s lovemaking. I remembered how my attendant’s hands had traversed my body earlier. I thought of Madam’s body as it writhed under Master’s touch. I touched my own face and found it hot as coal. I let my hands trace down to my breasts and felt the hardness of my nipples. I tried to control my breathing aware of the other girls close by. My hand slid down my belly as I had seen the Master’s do. I then felt the swollen lips of my own womanhood wet with anticipation. I pressed my fingers against the now swollen knot of my lips. As I did so my eyes closed and a moan quietly escaped my lips as I felt a release like before during the bathing. I became aware again of where I was. It seemed as though the others were asleep. I was thankful, but as I too drifted into slumber I thought I heard another girl moan. I dismissed the though and drifted blissfully into sleep.

End of Part I

This is a story a began several years ago. I am reviving"Glory and Shame" and will actually finish the story now that the muse has returned.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Waking Her

Dimly lit
bathed in moonlight
your silhouette
entrances and delights

Careful steps
not to awaken
slowly uncovered
my breath is taken

Lightly touch
this tender frame
caressing skin
hot as flame

Slow descent
breathe you in
tasting honey
the day begins

Truly knowing her, tasting her, the thought consumes me. I have known her for a moment and a life time; I can think of little more.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

In Gratitude

How do I express my thanks?
My protector, my guide
Not worthy of your ranks
You’ve never left my side

How to praise your name?
Humility, love, and strength
Never sought for fame
My words can’t span the length

How can I? Denying self
I can only glorify, magnify
I once broken, brought to wealth
Allowed to linger at your side

How do I capitulate?
Before your throne
I weep in gratitude, fall prostrate
Chilled to the very bone

How to honor the King?
No treasure, no worthiness
No nobility do I bring
Sufficient for your holiness

How can I repay?
Tis my folly. By your grace
Your death, you paid
This alone secured my place

At the very heart of my existence has been a single theme "grace". I have lived a life that could easily have seen me dead or incarcerated. I believe that the lord Jesus Christ has been faithful to protect and guide me from the certain death that I once called my life. I hope that, reading this, people will reflect and give thought to that which sustains them.

My Medicine Bag

Through swirling smoke
Hear mystic drum
From peace pipe toke
And music strum

Greenish sin
Or shredded swag
I reach within
My medicine bag

Powdered cure
Venom of snake
Stomped or pure
The chance I take

Though bitter sweet
I choke and gag
Seek self-deceit
My medicine bag

The shaman speaks
And lifts his hands
The dreamer walks
Through scorching sands

Staff or crutch
Joyous and sad
I can escape
My medicine bag

Addiction like soured love is hard to escape. It beckons, restless, compulsion to a weary soul. Escape requires removal and, too easily revisited is this mistress. Destructive satisfaction, wanton desires. Again and again returning till one day it is enough and the lesson is learned. When the price is paid, hopefully emerges a freed slave.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

My Love

The taste of her consumes me
I hunger for and have yet never known it
The smell of her arouses my senses
She awakens every part of me

I dead inside void of inspiration
With one stoke of her hand
The tone of her voice
I am reborn a thousand times

The sight of her renews me
Hope, joy, redemption, and trust
Her almond eyes a treasure
She peers to the core of my soul

Broken and repressed no more
Freed by my own hands
Driven to be better
I can finally succeed

The sound of her fulfills me
Choirs of angles cannot compare
Enthrall I sit dumbfounded
She resonates through my bones

My love unrequited freely given
Happy knowing that I am understood
I can deny her nothing
She is my heart

Love. Can it be defined? Love has no restraint. It transcends conventional logic. It makes us redefine everything. It erases us and redraws us with new dimensions. Love is everything.

A Passing Dream

In passing dream
You stood aglow
Bathed in mist and fire

The mist my breath
Upon your skin
Our passions fed the pyre

I slowly moved
Across your flesh
You breathed in my desire

A symphony
Of sweet suspense
A want that would not tire

We rose above
Both heaven 'n earth
Loves wings to lift us higher

Then swirling down
We fated went
Enraptured and expired

This is my attempt to put to words the images and feelings tied to a dream and a relationship. Desire, passion, love, dreams, all are enigmatic and often troubling. None are easily recaptured or explained...

Friday, July 11, 2008

Love Shouldn't Hurt

He broke your heart
Bruised your face
And your pride

It’s time to let go
Leave the pain
And hurt behind

Out in the world
There is something
For you

A love that won’t hurt
A love that is true

Love builds you up
Love will never
Tear you down

Love is not far
There’s no need
To wear a frown

(Chorus 1)
Leave pain behind
Step out of that door
This is the chance girl
That you’re looking for

And I can tell ya’ now
It won’t hurt anymore
(It won’t hurt anymore)


Look in my eyes
Hear these words
Know they’re true

I’ve hurt before
Like so many
People do

Just walk with me
If for only
A while

I’ll take all those tears
And give you a smile

(Chorus 2)
Where he tore you down
I’ll lift you up
Just let me know girl
When you’ve had enough

And I can tell you now
You won’t cry anymore
(You won’t cry anymore)


(Repeat Chorus 2)

This was written a few years ago when a good friend was in a very bad place. Physical violence is the wrong answer to almost every question but, certainly where the people you love are concerned. Check out if you want or need out of a bad situation. Please don't allow anyone to steal your joy or your life; both are in short supply.

Tarry With Me a While

Tarry with me a while
Lay here in my arms
Grace me with a smile
Bless me with your charms

Sing to me a song
A tune in love’s refrain
Hold me close and long
Kiss my lips again

Offer little lies
Tomorrow you’ll depart
Look not into my eyes
And do not break my heart

Whisper in my ear
Fanning passion’s fire
Lover, draw me near
Awakening desire

Speak to me of love
If only for a time
As manna from above
Tell me that you’re mine

Dwell with me tonight
Stay here ‘till the dawn
And as your wings take flight
Let me not know you’ve gone

A classic trap, a willing quarry, a broken heart, the same old story. Sometimes we would rather believe a lie than see the truth. Letting go... there is a difficult proposition. In the end we are the only one's responsible for putting our foot in the snare.