So They Might Know You Better

Father, I ask for your blessing and Holy Spirit

As I live my life and as I write these verses

Help me explain your mercy as I have come to know it

That it be a true testimony and witness

You came to us from working class poverty

To prove that even the lowest of us can be exalted

Bringing a new law that freed us from slavery

Proof that a soul can not be walled or vaulted

Parables not given as lecture but inspiration

Ideas that shook the earth and caused the skies to open

Lessons not for one people, instead given for every nation

Through enlightened teaching, old chains were finally broken

Judgement turned to kindness and charity

Now between justice and love

There would be no disparity

Here below as promised above

You came and showed us freedom's cost

Responsibility for our lives and those we touch

To hold up a light for those who are lost

And give up even our lives, if it come to that much

The Word made flesh, the essence of  grace

Love thy neighbor as thyself

God's law given a new face

A source of joy and eternal wealth

Through our rebellions and failures

In the darkest hours of despair

It is your love that endures

It is that hope that we can share

Scourged and mocked like a criminal 

Nailed on the Skull Rock to a cross

Darkened skies and earthquake as the signal

Signs of impending victory not those of loss

After three days, risen to walk with us again

Sin and death defeated for all mankind

One price, one final sacrifice, born of our pain

That we would know him better and find our love refined

There are times in my life when I question everything.  My heart has consistently come back to one conclusion.  I am free not because I am deserving of freedom but because the cost of my ransom has been paid.  I believe that all people receive this gift; just as we were bound to sin, so are we freed from it.  I have no judgement, for I have been given reprieve.  I have understanding that my imperfect love can be perfected.  While my worn and weary heart may falter, the source of my love never fades.  God, help me that I always remember to love and forgive, as you have loved and forgiven me through Christ Jesus.

Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela – Madiba

Good night, dear, wise, Tata

Rest now and watch us from on high 

Finally, your long walk is ended

Your legacy will not pass into the night

As you led your people out of evil

As you showed the world nobility

So shall we take up your banner

So shall we forge a new reality

Thank you brother Madiba

We now tread forward in your stead

As our foot steps cause the ground to tremble

They will all know you are far from dead

The voice of dissent is not silenced

The fight for freedom not ended

Thus shall we walk the long road to freedom

Thus shall we labor until the damage is mended

We've rested long enough

Still so much left to do

Our voices join yours in heaven

Amandla! Awethu!  Amandla! Awethu!

I will celebrate the life of Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela.  His voice inspired me as a child and his legacy remains an intricate part of my being.  To call him a hero is inadequate.  Any words I have will fail.  I will continue to fight for freedom though my meager efforts are laughable.  In some small way, maybe as part of a larger voice, I can play my part.  Thank you brother for your life and your inspiration.    

Hi, My Name is Roger

Hi, my name is Roger
I 'm much more than what you see
These withered hands, and broken form
Not who I used to be

As little boy I dreamed of space
And knights on brilliant steeds
I knew that I would change the world
With all my noble deeds

As young man, fought to reconcile
The unjust pain I saw
With all the things my parents said
About a loving God

I tried to be a soldier once
But couldn't understand
How force of arms could ever bring
Freedom to every man

I married twice and failed them both
Perhaps we failed each other
It was hard for me, the balancing
Of husband, friend and lover

I always strove through out my life
To speak for what was right
Champion the cause of liberty
To which I cling with all my might

I wrote some prose, a vanity
I hope they will endure
A testament to who I was
Before my thoughts obscured

You did not know the man I was
But, we were once the same
The joy of life once pulsed in me
And passion filled my veins

I lay here now and this one thing
I ask of you young friend
Treat me kindly; as you yourself
Will someday reach your end

I know I may appear to be
A burden in your eyes
But understand trapped in this frame
That little boy resides




I dedicate this poem to my mother Margy Clark who has been bedridden and in a convalescent home for nearly a year.  My sister and I have gone to her side nearly everyday.  Although we know we cannot care for her needs ourselves, we recognize our responsibility to the woman who gave us life.  I have gotten to know a number of the residents at the home and I am saddened by how infrequently their families visit.  I am also shocked by how they are treated at times.  Thanks be to God, my mother's home is a good one.  She has good food, and lives in a clean facility.  But, I know that this is far from true for so many others.  Men and women who built this country and the world often lay in horrid conditions, forgotten and alone.  I wrote this piece to remind everyone that we will all succumb to the great equalizer at some point in our lives.  May you all be treated with the love, regard, and care that you provide your elders today.

The Rose and the Flame

Sit comfortably

In a quiet room, alone

Enjoy the silence

Breathe in through your nose

Exhale slowly from your mouth

Slow, steady, rhythm

Picture a rose bud

Hold the flower in your mind

Push out distractions

See the soft petals

Focus on every detail

Cells pulsing with life

Simple true beauty

Dew drop caressed perfection

Full of energy

Envision a flame

Light, warmth, and vital essence

Touching everything

Powerful nature

Creation, destruction, strength

Boundless potential

Watch it dance and sway

Chasing away the darkness

The aura of hope

Joining images

Place the flame below the rose

See the flower blooms

Tender sails unfurl

Sweet aroma rises forth

Forms crystalline sphere

Imagine yourself

Entering the chrysalis

Feel the warmth

Seek out areas

In yourself that cause you pain

Visualize them

Gather them, form them

Becoming Spirit Steel bars

Re-enforce your sphere

Feel yourself growing

The chrysalis molds to you

Rose flame fuels your heart

Breathe in slow and deep

Let cool life water rain down

Drink, wash away care

Emerge clean and new

Armored in experience

Strong in conviction

Meditation is an opportunity to slow down and breathe.  The practice of meditative exercises and breathing techniques is found in one form or another in every culture.  I wanted to mimic the 5 - 7 - 5 meter of Haiku.  I hope you find healing and renewal as you envision these images and seek center.  Namaste.  Peace be with you and with your spirit.

The Truth

There are no walls for the soul

There is no cage for the heart

When you’re searching for your freedom

Knowing this is the crucial part

You can overcome any trial

Use your mind’s eye to see

Set your spirit forward in motion

Then claim your victory

Focus every desire of your heart

Through daily meditation

Manifest your destiny

Practice positive confession

Hone in on an action plan

Inscribe it in your being

Remind yourself everyday

There is no limit, no upper ceiling

Your hands are there to shape and mold

The things that caused you pain

Become your weapons and armor

Forged and formed by flame

Only you can make this change

The power of your spirit

Allow yourself to realize

The truth now that you hear it

This is truth.  No matter what you have been led to believe.  No matter what fools have tried to convince you of, nor what you allowed yourself to believe, you are the author of your story.  The armies arrayed against you are made of paper and you hold the flame to burn them down.  Rise up be the person you want to be.

The Butterfly Effect

In the space of my mind's eye

It's clear and well defined

The moment locked in history

When you, almost, were mine

Awkward and uncomfortable

Expressions I could not find

A stutter step cost me, I know 

Your love for all of time

Sometimes alone, I close my eyes

Envisioning that night

To travel back imagining

And try to make things right

If I could use my words and deeds

Why surely, then you'd see

The love I know that we still share

Would finally set us free

Some call the Universe limitless

With parallel possibilities

I'd like to think in one of them

We're together happily

I do accept the way we are

I see life rationally

Somehow the way things are today

Is how it's meant to be

Just know that thoughts of you remain

Among my precious things

My love, these dreams I now release

Take flight on butterfly's wings

I think we all have a lover in our past that haunts our dreams.  The one who didn't work out.  "The one that got away."  It's healthy and natural to reminisce and wonder what could have been.  In the end though, growth comes through acknowledgement and moving forward.  You never know where life will take you but, you can't remain stagnant if you want to find out.

Steve

My thoughts are so disjointed

How could you take your life?

I'm angry, frustrated and disappointed 

Look at all this damage, hurt and strife

Brother, I am sorry you were in so much pain

I feel guilty that you felt you couldn't call

Knowing that I won't speak to you again

Is the most painful thing of all

No fucking answers just questions now

We were the same Goddamn age

Wondering if we failed you and how

Feeling emptiness and rage

These fatal steps can't be retraced

Why Steve? Man, why?

What was the problem that you faced

That made you want to die?

I guess there's no point asking
There's not much left that we can do

Console each other's mourning
Just know this bro; we miss you.




I got the call last night from Steve's brother and one of my best friends, Larry.  I am still in shock these words are anemic at best.  This is how I deal with loss.  I don't know or care if my prose are any good.  I just needed to do something with all this angry energy.  My condolences go out to Steve's family.

I'm Already Here

The Late, Great, Perkin's Palace

This weekend I went to a Heavy Metal show to see Anthrax, Megadeth, and Iron Maiden.  There's an old saying in English "You can never go home again."  This show gave me great pause to consider this adage.  The bands sounded great, and they proved to be truly top notch entertainers but, something was very different.  We are all obviously older but that wasn't it.  As I tried to figure out what I was feeling, it came to me.  I am different.

Years ago I did the "club thing".  I would go to the Troubadour,  The Roxy, Gazzari's, Perkin's Palace, name a dive where the music was live and loud; I would be there.  I even worked as a roadie for bands that would later become enduring parts of the Heavy Metal scene.  In those days sex, drugs, and rock and roll wasn't a catch phrase, it was reality.  I lived life hard and fast and told myself I was having fun.  Then one day I woke up and it was all over.  

Most former addicts or "recovering addicts" will be able to tell you exactly what happened to make them quit or what the "turning point" in their life was.  It was different for me.  I never felt comfortable in my role as a Hesher/ Stoner.  Some might say I was a "Poser", a title that would have infuriated me at the time, but I think I am good with it now.  Whatever the case may be, I awoke from my Rock and Roll coma and decided to take a different path.

I am not going to try and tell the whole story at this point but, today I work closely with Law Enforcement and my life is in a very different place.  Maybe not so oddly, I romanticized the "Heavy Metal 80's" in my own head.  My memories were of a time when the battle cry was "Die Young!" and I was poisoning myself just to the brink of making it come true.  I'm glad I didn't; I still lament the loss of friends who did not make the switch in time.

As I said earlier, the show this weekend was great and a great "eye opener".  I am not the confused kid I was then.  Beyond that, I no longer feel the need to be that kid anymore.  The music and the videos from the 80's will always be enshrined in my heart and I would not change those memories for any others.  That said, I am happier and more at peace with my life than ever before.  Nothing is perfect but it can be good, even great if you choose to let it be.  

This is not a story of "Paradise Lost", it is the story of satisfaction realized.  I will not lament the passing of yesterday's youth.  Rather, I will celebrate my today and the wisdom of time.  I will allow the temples and shrines of my past to stand.  I will walk in the gardens of my memories but, I will never again live there.  The best days of my life are ahead of me, not behind.  If someone says to me "You can never go home again" I will smile and know in my heart, I'm already here.

Roger H. P. Clark

Someday You Will Remember

You hide yourself dear
Someday you will remember
I always see you

I know your true heart

This much I know is certain

Love resides in you

Fighting for control

Someday you will remember

You were always free

Running Far Away

Escape is just illusion

Face your deepest fears

Go now if you must

Someday you will remember

My heart will follow

Spring time through Winter

The seasons of man are short

Time forgives little

One thing will endure 

Someday you will remember 

I adore you  Still

I have been experimenting with an English interpretation of  Japanese Haiku.  I have a deep respect for Japanese culture.  I admire the simplicity, strength and beauty it embodies.  Haiku is one verse with three lines.   Five sounds (In English we adapt this as syllables)  in the first line, seven in the second, and five again, in the final line.  I wanted to emulate the style but as I do not speak or write Japanese.  I thought to add my own flavor to its beauty.  I have written seven Haiku that I believe stand alone and yet share a common theme.  I hope I have done honor to the tradition and the spirit of the style. (RM)

Getting It Right

So many time in my life

I would cling too tight

To ideas, places and people

Holding on with all my might

Soon those things would tear away

Rending bits of soul and heart

Crushing those things that I loved

Until they fell apart

For a time I was misguided

Patron Saint of the rejected

Blinded by my selfishness 

Sitting brokenhearted and dejected

A subtle change emerged in me

A better new perspective

People sometimes have to leave

So love may return perfected

Everyone needs space to grow

Some room to breath and thrive

Being strong enough to let them go

Can keep love's spark alive

It's possible the road may turn

That they could walk away

Wiser, recognize their freedom

Than to try and make them stay

It seems I've finally grown up 

Don't feel the need to fight

The things in life I cannot change

This time I've got it right

Letting go always seemed scary.  Irrational fears of being alone, insecurity, all gone.  I stand a better man.  Life: "You scared bro.?"  Me: "Nah, I ain't even scared." (RM)